i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
