You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
