OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
