Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
