alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
