are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize