Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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