I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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