You smell like stripper and shame
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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