It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
