wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
