I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
