Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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