ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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