I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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