Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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