Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
