just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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