we made out on top of his cat.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
