I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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