belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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