i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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