I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
