My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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