I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
How does it feel to date your dad?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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