HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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