yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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