Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
