Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
