The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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