i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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