You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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