Apparently you make a good broom.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
