she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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