Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
pop tarts are not kleenex
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
