I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
