Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
