Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
