I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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