puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
