Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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