I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
