covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
