Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
