I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize