hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
