Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
