how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
