Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
