one two three fourrrrnication!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
