you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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