sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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