there's paper in my vomit.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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