No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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