no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
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