Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
