someone threw a dead crab at me
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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