i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I can't turn off my feet"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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