Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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