ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
