don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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