i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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