I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
