ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
