I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
