there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
